I’ve been thinking a lot lately about a simple Venn diagram. You know the one—two circles representing two people, with the overlap symbolizing their shared life, shared values, shared experiences, and connection. Years ago, I looked at that diagram and thought the goal of love was to make the overlap as large as possible. I wanted the circles to almost disappear into one another. I believed that if two people loved each other enough, there would be very little separation lef

Every January, millions of people promise themselves they’re finally going to change. This will be the year they stop procrastinating, stop overeating, stop going back to the wrong people, stop feeling so stuck. And by February, most of them feel ashamed. We’ve been taught that when we don’t follow through, it means we lack discipline or motivation. But in my work with trauma, attachment wounds, and emotionally sensitive nervous systems, I see something very different: Most p