Every January, millions of people promise themselves they’re finally going to change. This will be the year they stop procrastinating, stop overeating, stop going back to the wrong people, stop feeling so stuck. And by February, most of them feel ashamed. We’ve been taught that when we don’t follow through, it means we lack discipline or motivation. But in my work with trauma, attachment wounds, and emotionally sensitive nervous systems, I see something very different: Most p

Every holiday season, I watch something very predictable happen in my therapy office. People don’t just get busy. They get activated. Christmas, New Year’s, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Solstice — these aren’t just dates on a calendar. They are attachment amplifiers. They stir up old expectations about love, belonging, safety, and whether or not we matter. The holidays are when our attachment systems speak the loudest. And that’s not a flaw — it’s a feature. Why the Holidays Hit So Har

When I sit with clients—whether couples or individuals—I often notice that their struggles share a common root: the longing to feel safe,...

Let’s talk about something that happens all the time in relationships but often gets misunderstood: protest behaviors. You’ve probably...